• Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
  • Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.
  • My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
  • Always give your 100 percent, unless you’r donating blood.
  • I can see you checking my Whatsapp status.
  • God is really creative, I mean, just look at me.
  • Too busy to update a status. 0_o
  • Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my Whatsapp status.
  • Waiting for wi-fi network.
  • Always remember you are UNIQUE………… just like everybody else.
  • They say we learn from our mistakes; so I m making as many as possible!!!Soon I will be a genius :-B
  • I will marry the girl who look as pretty as in her Aadhaar card.
  • My attitude will always be based on how you treat me.
  • Happiness is when “Last seen at” changes to “online” and then to “typing..”
  • I did lots of stupid things on social networking sites but atleast I never commented “Cute pic dear “on girls profile picture.
  • Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.
  • I wish I could trade my heart for another liver …..so that i can drink more and care less.
  • Intelligence is like underwear. It’s important that you have it but there’s no need to show it off.
  • I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
  • Stop checking my status ! Go Get A Life.
  • Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.
  • Excuse me..I found something under my shoes. .ohh its your Attitude.
  • I’m cool but global warming made me hot.
  • Sometimes I just wish I could fast forward the time to see if in the end it’s all worth it.
  • I don’t like cocaine, I just like the way it smells;)
  • Good morning…let the stress begin.
  • When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
  • Scientist say the world is made up of Proton,Neutrons and Electrons…they forgot to mention Morons like u :);)
  • Virginity is like a soap bubble, one touch and it is gone.
  • Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.